He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Drunk is a universal language darling
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
