areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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