Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
