so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
