Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
