I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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