if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize