scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
