Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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