dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize
