he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
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