Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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