i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
