We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just sucked dick on a ferry
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
