Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize
