i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
So squirting runs in the family.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
