took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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