new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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