i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
