There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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