And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize
