She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Randomize
