how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
