Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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