Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
