Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
