I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
