hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
