This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
