Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
