What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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