Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
