When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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