THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
All I want is dick and wine.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize