if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
