The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
i now understand why vodka
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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