Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
