Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Randomize
