I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize