I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
