I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize