Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
