I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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