So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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