im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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