My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Randomize