Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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