school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
