I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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