I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Randomize
