When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
