How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
