Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
