i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
