11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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