You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Randomize
