i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
