he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
