Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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