Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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