unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
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