My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
