I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
