Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize