doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
