i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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