My nipple is on Facebook.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Randomize
