And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
