Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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